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How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less, by Nicholas Boothman
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Yes, it really works: Nicholas Boothman's breakthrough program of "rapport by design" really does show you how to make people like you in 90 seconds or less. Now it's available in paperback, with a newly created workbook section based on the author's hundreds of workshops. Whether selling, managing, applying to college, looking for a job-or looking for a soulmate-the secret of success is connecting with other people. Nicholas Boothman shows exactly how to make the best out of any relationship's most critical moment-those first 90 seconds that make up a first impression. Armed with his program, readers learn how to establish immediate trust by synchronizing voice tone and body language; the power of a Really Useful Attitude; and how to get people talking and keep them talking. He discusses eye cues, the magic of opposites attracting, and sensory preferences-some of us are Visual people, others are Kinesthetic (responding most to the sense of touch), and a few are Auditory. So when you say "I see what you mean" to a Visual, you're really speaking his or her language.
- Sales Rank: #8911 in Audible
- Published on: 2004-03-03
- Format: Unabridged
- Original language: English
- Running time: 192 minutes
Amazon.com Review
The average person's attention span lasts about 30 seconds. That means first and immediate impressions count, and big. In this modern-day update of Dale Carnegie's classic How to Win Friends and Influence People, former fashion photographer Nicholas Boothman instructs you in how to mold those 30 seconds to your greatest advantage and connect with others at business and social functions.
Boothman, now a lecturer and licensed master practitioner of neurolinguistic programming (the art and science of how the brain affects human connections), says that the key to making others like you quickly lies in establishing a rapport: you have to find out what you have in common or, if you seemingly have nothing in common, purposely try to become like the other person for a short time. He then goes on to offer simple techniques for getting a rapport going: adopt a positive attitude; make sure your words, tone, and gestures are all saying the same thing; synchronize your attitude and body movements to those of another person's (which makes the person feel comfortable with you--although he or she may not know why); and ask lots of open-ended questions. Boothman also describes how to figure out a stranger's favored sense for receiving information about the world--some rely on visual cues, others on auditory or kinesthetic (touch) input--and use it to your best advantage.
If discovering how to connect with others is the secret to business and life success, as Boothman contends, then employing the strategies in this book will make you instantly likeable and give you a leg up on the competition. --Nancy Monson
From Publishers Weekly
Blessed with an irresistible premise and title, this well-packaged self-help book draws its advice from neuro-linguistic programming and a study of interpersonal communication conducted by two UCLA doctors. While its clearly presented techniques may help readers clear communications hurdles in social and professional interactions, this upbeat volume will probably appeal most to readers interested in dating and nurturing romantic attachments. A former fashion photographer who gives "Positive Connection" seminars, Boothman breaks down the process of connecting with people into discrete stepsAmeeting, establishing rapport and opening up communicationAand provides simple examples, self-assessments, exercises and sample dialogue. He contends that a key to establishing rapport lies in synchronizing behavior or mimicking the other person's pose, facial expression, gestures, body language and tone of voice. According to the principles of neuro-linguistic programming, Boothman recommends categorizing people according to how they take in information (e.g., visually, aurally or by feel) and responding in kind. Though the book reads like an adapted seminar or puffed-up magazine article, Workman's ambitious promotional campaign and usual canny marketing may well make this little book one of the season's most popular impulse purchases. 20-city author tour.
Copyright 2000 Reed Business Information, Inc.
Review
“Nick Boothman’s brilliant stroke is to guarantee that within the first 90 seconds of meeting someone you’ll be communicating like old, trusted friends.” –Marty Edelston, Publisher, Bottom Line/Personal
Most helpful customer reviews
6 of 6 people found the following review helpful.
a broad, introductory framework for the subject and very tactical
By Joshua Sheats-Radical Personal Finance
[[VIDEOID:255353b6bc96af42d8fe9a5b58f05930]] Nicholas Boothman's book "How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less" is a great introduction to the skill of intentionally establishing rapport with new acquaintances. This book is a broad, useful introduction to the topic.
All else being equal, people would rather spend time with, work with, buy from, and help those that they like. The skill of being likeable and helping people to like you is thus a very useful life skill and can be an important component of your success toolbox.
Boothman establishes two beautiful aspects to being likeable:
1. It's a learned skill. This means that no matter who you are and where you're starting from, you can improve and develop your skills so that others like you more and more quickly.
2. It's an honest and ethical practice. Even though the title has the typical "self-help schmarminess," there is nothing tricky or conniving about the tools and tactics in the book. You would want everyone in your life to understand the concepts of this book and to practice them continually in their relationship with you. Ultimately, likeability largely boils down to active listening and we all crave friends who are careful, active listeners.
This book is not deep. Boothman doesn't dig into science research or discuss a lot of history. Rather, it's useful and practical. You can immediately learn and apply the content. I appreciate that!
I listened to the audiobook version and I enjoyed listening to it in the author's own voice. He does an excellent job conveying the emotion and tone of his work.
However, I purchased the written version so that I would be able to access the outline and notes for reference and so that I could do some of the exercises contained within it.
The book was published in 2000, so there are plenty of used copies available for $0.01. Also, the Kindle version is a downright bargain at $2.51!
Enjoy the book!
Joshua
http://radicalpersonalfinance.com/how-to-make-people-like-you-in-90-seconds-or-less-by-nicholas-boothman-book-review/
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Joshua J. Sheats, MSFS, CFP®, CLU®, ChFC®, CASL®, CAP®, RHU®, REBC®
Host of Radical Personal Finance, hardcore financial advice that works: www.RadicalPersonalFinance.com
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
Like getting coaching from your most charismatic friend
By Rya Jones
Of course this book won't teach you how to MAKE people like you in 90 seconds or less. That would require magical powers. No book can deliver what the book's title promises. That said, Boothman offers some great tips on how to make a connection with people instantly. It's like being able to sit down with a very charismatic friend and have them teach you their tricks.
A few of Boothman's tips feel gimmicky to me. For instance, he puts a lot of stock in each person relying on one sense more than the others, whether sight, hearing, or touch. While he makes it seems like it is the easiest thing in the world to figure out which sense someone prefers, my experience was that it is not so easy to figure out which someone is in real life. I wish there had been more research to back this claim, especially since he spends a fair amount of the book discussing this concept.
After finishing the book I felt like about a third of the book offered really terrific tips. Another third offered mediocre tips. The last third offered tips that didn't seem to work for me. Still, in my mind, the third of the book that offers terrific tips makes the book worth the read. Plus, Boothman is a fun author. I never found myself getting bored, even in the places where I disagreed.
3 of 4 people found the following review helpful.
I bought this book because I pretty much don't like people in general
By cossan512
I bought this book because I pretty much don't like people in general, and I don't really give a crap about getting them to like me. As you might imagine, that makes the work environment more difficult. I was hoping for practical tips to develop some social skills to smooth out my interactions with people I have no interest in having any contact with, but must to some extent, because I work with them.
This author is a fruitcake. He suggests an exercise where a group of people practice greeting each other by "beaming" all the energy from their heart at the person they are greeting, and at a particular area of their body, and them to say what area they felt the beam, and practice until you can direct your beam so that the other person feels it in the right place.
That is pretty much why I hate people right there. This guys head is full of make-believe new age horsecrap. If he succeeds getting people to like him with that kind of stuff, then he has the charisma that comes from being insane, or perhaps he is greeting another soft-headed idiot that does not recognize him as a crazy person. I cannot finish this book because after reading that, I have no interest in any more of his delusional ideas, whether they work or not.
If a person were to beam their heart at me when I first met them, I would walk away from them and never speak to them again. I also realize that probably works with a lot of people. (Which is why I don't like people.)
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